baby shower

this weekend i am going to a baby shower. i am feeling lots of things right now.
1 freaked out. the shower is for my soon to be ex sister inlaw's sister. wow what a mouthful. anyway i am picking up my niece for the shower
2. sad. i really hoped to be pregnant by now and it will be hard seeing someone pregant when i want to be so bad.
3. happy the mom to be is married and happy. since i have known her since she was still in elementery school i am happy that she is in a good place.
all of this is swirling around in my head and i still have to go buy a gift. i know i know i am really pushing the last minute. i know it will be fun and my niece will be there but it will also be weird. the last time we all saw each other was my nephews birthday right before the split. wish me luck