fear

ciciley over at uppercase woman wrote about her fears yesterday. wow timly topic for me. last night i took winnie for a walk and she ran right over to a stick and grabbed it the wrong way and got a piece stuck in her throat. when she first grabbed it she yleped in pain so i took her back inside to check her out. she wanted no part of that she wouldn't let us look in her mouth. as the night went on she refused to drink and ate very little. she just laid on the floor with big hurt eyes. we finally decided we needed to see what was going on in her mouth. so up on the counter she goes and was really snappy when we tried to open her mouth. she finally opened up enough we could see in with a flashlight but couldn't see anything wrong. later i went in to the bedroom to read. she normally comes in and bothers me for attention but only laid down next to me for a snuggle. after 1/2 an hour she sat up and coughed up the stick. i was so happy to see that stick. after that she crawled under the bed and went to sleep. this morning we were relieved that she is back to her self eating and drinking as usual and barking at the neighbors at 6 am.
we both feared she had really hurt herself with the way she was acting.
i learned a long time ago to face your fears and push through them. the rewards are incredible. i learned to face my fears from my grandmother. she lived her whole life devoted to my grandfather who as he got older refused to go anywhere. it was a fight just to get him out of the house. my grandmother would want to go to their hometown 4 hours away pack everything be all ready to leave and he would decided he couldn't go and she would stay home too. she had so many plans for after he was gone. she would tells us every time we visited. unfortunately she died suddenly before my grandfather a blow to us all. since then i decided i was not going to let fear stand in my way. if there was something i wanted to do and no one to do it with i went alone. this has included trips, restaurants, bars, visits to friends far away where i need to drive completely lost from the start and many other things. the only things i truely fear are the big ones where i a powerless to do anything. not being able to help my sweet dog last night was one of worst fears anyone can face not being able to help someone you love.