monday

what can i say it is monday again. monday and wednesday are my long days. see i have 2 jobs. one is for earning money to pay bills and the other is for fun (and i get paid too). obivouly job #2 is my favorite i would even do it for free getting paid is a bonus. what you ask is this job? i teach water aerobics. i am a lover of being in the water and in the pool i get a good work out and have fun too. however this means that i don't get home until 10 pm those nights. some day i will have to give up my second job which i will really miss but for now i am enjoying my job and the wonderful people i get to meet.

TGIF

it is friday. 5 pm can't come fast enough. this weekend we are going to a birthday party in nj for my cousin's daughter and husband. they share a birthday which is really nice. morgan is turning 3. she is such a little cutie. she had a very rough start but she is lucky. they thought she would be mentally and physically handicapped. instead she is ahead of where she should be mentally and with the physical therapy she has had for over two years she is coping with limited use of one arm. she is a sweet child even through the treeible twos and now into the threes. don't get me wrong she has her moments and she can be headstrong but all in all she is a really great kid. so happy third birthday morgan love you !!

feeling lighter

now that my boyfriend is working and likes his job I feel 100 lbs lighter. since christmas when he started getting his hours cut until he quit in april the pressure has been mounting. when he finally quit it was a small sigh of relief because he was finally away from the nuts he was working for. the last 2 months have been really stressful while he was looking for a job. now that he is happily employed i can finally breathe again the pressure is off and i feel like i am floating through every day. i love him even more now that we have faced what in most relationships would break it and come through stronger and more in love than ever. we have found out that when things are bad we can work together and get through. It has been a tough road for the last 6 months but i know we can face anything together now.

my little winnie has a crush. not on a dog her own size but on one about 5 times her size. his name is tank. he is an english lab. beautiful yellow coat and much heavier than his american cousins. yet she loves him. appearantly he is quite the stud since every female dog goes nuts when they see him. winnie is one of the bunch but she doesn't care as long as she can get near him. it is too funny at home she barks at the other dogs and growls like she is a big dog. even if she is only 12 inches tall and weighs 25 lbs she thinks she can dominate them. but not tank she is completely submissive just to get near him. when i pick her up from doggie daycare she is in the room with the biggest dogs happily playing with tank. thankfully tank for all his size is a sweetheart.

he likes it

my boyfriend likes his new job. hooray!! i am so happy for him. he finally found a good company. he is back to the relaxed and happy guy i met. we are both giving a big sigh of relief. now that there is money coming in from both of us we are looking toward the future and making plans. i some times can't believe i finally found what i have always been looking for. if i am dreaming please don't wake me.

weekend update

this was such a good weekend. on saturday we went up to visit my boyfriend's mom. we took our dog up to play with her dogs. winnie had a ball playing in the yard with the other dogs. on sunday we had friends over for dinner. it was so nice to entertain in our apartment. we have been struggling for a few months so it was nice to be with friends and relax for a change. winnie was funny with the j one of our friends. she wanted no part of him. she barked at him and ran away if he tried to go near her. by the end of the night they were friends but i was suprised at how long it took her to warm up to him. all in all a good weekend.

hooray!!!!!

WOW WOW WOW
i have spent the last 6 weeks worried to death over money. my loving boyfriend quit his job. now i know most people would be angry over him quitting in this economy but i was glad he finally got away from his former boss. bitch is to nice for what she was.
today he finally got a new job starting Monday. all i can say is yeah. i no long will be paying all the bills and we can finally put money back in my savings,and pay off bills that we have put minimums on for months. he has not work a 40 hour week since the middle of December. i can't wait til we are back on our feet. that means babies and marriage Yeah!!!

Books

I love to read. My parents have been accusing me for years of eating books. Many i keep and reread. right now i am rereading a really long series of books by Terry Goodkind. total there are 11 books and the first 2 are both over 900 pages. i am rereading for 2 reasons 1 my boyfriend is now reading the series and asking me questions and 2 they are making a tv series from the books. i only hope they do the books justice. the sword of truth books are wonderful full of magic and adventure, every time you think the main characters finally have won something else is thrown in their path. i eagerly awaited the release of every book in the series. when i recieved the last book in the series last christmas i couldn't wait to read the book and i also wanted to read as slowly as possible knowing this was to be the last one. finding out about the tv series made me want to reread the series again. i can't wait for the fall tv season to start and be able to see the adventures i am reading this summer brought to life.

fear

ciciley over at uppercase woman wrote about her fears yesterday. wow timly topic for me. last night i took winnie for a walk and she ran right over to a stick and grabbed it the wrong way and got a piece stuck in her throat. when she first grabbed it she yleped in pain so i took her back inside to check her out. she wanted no part of that she wouldn't let us look in her mouth. as the night went on she refused to drink and ate very little. she just laid on the floor with big hurt eyes. we finally decided we needed to see what was going on in her mouth. so up on the counter she goes and was really snappy when we tried to open her mouth. she finally opened up enough we could see in with a flashlight but couldn't see anything wrong. later i went in to the bedroom to read. she normally comes in and bothers me for attention but only laid down next to me for a snuggle. after 1/2 an hour she sat up and coughed up the stick. i was so happy to see that stick. after that she crawled under the bed and went to sleep. this morning we were relieved that she is back to her self eating and drinking as usual and barking at the neighbors at 6 am.
we both feared she had really hurt herself with the way she was acting.
i learned a long time ago to face your fears and push through them. the rewards are incredible. i learned to face my fears from my grandmother. she lived her whole life devoted to my grandfather who as he got older refused to go anywhere. it was a fight just to get him out of the house. my grandmother would want to go to their hometown 4 hours away pack everything be all ready to leave and he would decided he couldn't go and she would stay home too. she had so many plans for after he was gone. she would tells us every time we visited. unfortunately she died suddenly before my grandfather a blow to us all. since then i decided i was not going to let fear stand in my way. if there was something i wanted to do and no one to do it with i went alone. this has included trips, restaurants, bars, visits to friends far away where i need to drive completely lost from the start and many other things. the only things i truely fear are the big ones where i a powerless to do anything. not being able to help my sweet dog last night was one of worst fears anyone can face not being able to help someone you love.

how to begin

that is the question.
1-1/2 years ago i was dating a man 8 years older. he did not want to get married or have more kids( he already had 2). every time we would start to head in the direction i wanted he would pull away and tell me to find someone who would give me what i want.
so i did.
the man i am with now makes me ask the question "how did i end up here" every morning. before you think that is a bad way to start the day please know i say that to myself with joy, love and glee. some days i really am amazed at my life.
why you ask , well i finally found the man of my dreams a few months before turning 40 . yes 40. we moved in together after 2 months and for my 40th birthday he bought me a puppy. winnie is our starter child. she may have 4 feet a tail and fur but she is our child. now that she is 1 and my next birthday is looming we are looking to have a child and get married. things i had given up ever having before meeting my man. so repeat after me how did i end up here??